Heavy damage on the wings, but still flying

(bing)

Good mornin' and welcome aboard Spoked B Airlines, the offisal airline of the Boston Bruins' playoff hopes.

(putt) (sputter)

We 'pologize for the quality of the plane right now. We've taken some damage to our wings (which we've affectionately dubbed Murray and Axelsson) and jus' barely made it off the ground in NY.

You may notice a sli' slur in my speech as my co-pilot and I have been drinking since yesterday...being Saint Patriss day and all. You figgur, a team from Bosson should have the luck of the Irish on their side, right? Right?? Wha' the hell happened??

The good news is that we are back in the air...barely...but now face some rough weather going into Montreal. Not that many o' you will notice...I can't help but obsserf that we lost half of our passengers after we took some flak over Philly last week. I ne'er seen people kicking the exit door open like that mid-flight just to get out. Even some crew members were grabbing the flotation devices from people's seats and jumping out themselffs.

But on to Montreal we go. Sorry about the condisson of the plane and the condisson of your pilots. The co-pilot's sobering up now and should be okay in the next hour once the iprupopen...the ifoprogen...the asprin starts kicking in. In the meantime, if you see the stewardess, tell her we need more coffee and ice up here.